Friday, November 20, 2009

I wanna

Officially for now, I'm studying. So here's something short and something I feel every men should read before proceeding to well you know, sign your life away :)


The Big List Of The Benefits Of Bachelorism

1. Everything in your house is yours.
2. You don't have to hide gifts, receipts, and other purchase records in ridiculous places.
3. If you buy something "yummy", you don't have to buy twice as much.
4. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss.
5. Your late nights are all yours.
6. Less stuff to move when you do move
7. One bedroom apartments feel more spacious with only one person
8. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm.
9. Only the doctor can tell you what to eat
10. You decide what to shave and when

11. Valentines day costs less
12. No anniversaries to remember
13. No extra birthdays to remember
14. No extra family to shop for during the holidays
15. No irritating in-laws to deal with
16. You can walk around naked whenever you want.
17. Only your sense of decency has any say about where you leave your dirty clothes.
18. You don't have to share
19. You don't have to change your life because someone else has jealousy issues.
20. The only insecurities you have to deal with are your own.

21. Getting that out-of-state job doesn't hinge on what someone else wants or thinks.
22. The only people complaining about music volume are the neighbors.
23. You can fall asleep anywhere without getting any guff for it in the morning.
24. You don't have to use the "headache" excuse anymore.
25. You don't have to worry as much about the "oops, I'm pregnant" factor.
26. The only person who goes through your stuff is you.
27. The only person who sees your inbox is you.
28. More time to spend with friends.
29. You don't have to live with someone who can't stand your parents.
30. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks you why.

31. You can date more freely.
32. The cute secretary is fair game.
33. The whole wedding mess? Yeah, none of that to deal with.
34. You don't have to share your closet with anyone else.
35. You always get to watch what you want.
36. You always get to read what you want.
37. You decide when to crawl into bed.
38. You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.
39. No one else's annoying (or disgusting) habits to deal with at home.
40. The only fetishes you have to deal with are your own.

41. You can talk to yourself without people saying "what?" or worrying about your sanity.
42. There are religious benefits, if you're into that kind of thing.
43. Single people can still adopt, if you're into that kind of thing.
44. The only annoying friends you have to deal with are your own.
45. You don't ever have to wonder if you really love the person you live with.
46. There's only one way to do things- your way.
47. You are the master of the thermostat.
48. The only messes you have to clean up are your own.
49. The only disasters you have to fix are your own.
50. If an argument starts, you can walk away. forever.

51. You don't have to make excuses for yourself.
52. The whole "old maid" thing is so last century.
53. Dinner can be as simple as a frozen burrito.
54. When you eat, you buy and cook for one.
55. No one else is going to eat your leftovers.
56. No one else is going to raid your stash of sweets (you don't even have to hide it!)
57. You don't have to share your bed with anyone.
58. You can even eat in bed if you want to.
59. You can decorate the entire house according to your taste.
60. The only person spending your money is you.

61. Three words: Marriage Tax Penalty.
62. The only debts you have to pay off are your own.
63. Kids with single parents can get more financial aid.
64. Bickering couples are at best a relieving reminder and at worst hilarious.
65. Less pressure about body weight.
66. Married people are fatter on average anyway.
67. Suddenly, it's okay to look (and flirt).
68. It's easier to focus on your career and your dreams.
69. You're the only person who gets to decide if you "need to make more money."
70. The only mood swings you have to deal with are your own.

71. There are a lot of lonely and violently psychopathic people out there.
72. You don't have to change your religious beliefs one bit.
73. There are 6.5 Billion other fish in the sea. That's 6,500 x 1 million. Yeah.
74. Porn is cheaper, easier, and comes in more varieties.
75. The toilet seat only moves when you move it.
76. Cohabitation is legal, fun, and less of a hassle than marriage.
77. You don't have to deal with someone else's kids all the time.
78. Divorce is pricey.
79. You don't have to deal with "compliment fishing."
80. Fewer minutes spent with a phone attached to your ear.

81. No endless nagging.
82. You never have to answer the phone "right now!"
83. You can drink what you want, where you want, and as much as you want.
84. No doubts or worries about someone sleeping around.
85. Things stay where you put them.
86. You can meditate and have your quiet time when you need it.
87. The only thing whining about not being fed is your cat.
88. You can take out the trash when you feel like it.
89. You can shower or bathe when you want, as often as you want, for as long as you want.
90. You can even leave the door open when you shower.

91. The longer you wait, the better you know yourself, instead of someone else.
92. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how you treat yourself.
93. A bad relationship is like a lingering knife wound- it continues to ruin your whole day.
94. You can be as eccentric as you want.
95. Your car can be as dirty or unusual or artistic as you want.
96. You decide how long it takes to get ready.
97. Say goodbye to heartache, dumping, and being dumped.
98. You get your weekends for you and your projects.
99. You can be the wild friend with all the really juicy stories.
100. You can still get laid. Maybe even more often. Certainly with more variety.
101. Being single and staying single isn't selfish. It should be seen as putting your happiness first (Where it should be.)

Cheerio :)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Kicking back after a long week

The week before was truly a blessed albeit tiring one. My woman came over from Saturday all the way till Wednesday. Spending time with her proved to be a form of compensation for juggling presentations on Tuesday and Thursday. Somehow, having her around me gives me the feel good aura and sometimes this aura can turn into the "I don't wanna move my damn body to go to class to see my 'lovely' lecturers because I have quality time to spend with mah woman" aura. :D On a more serious note, the presentation on Tuesday was the semi-finals of the Finance Challenge 2009 organized by uhh...I don't really know cuz I'm just in it for the money :p

There were about 13 of us for the semi-final presentation verbally presenting our takes on different aspects of the financial realm. We got to choose our own topics and mine was 'Re-pegging the ringgit as a means to address the global financial crisis of 2008'. I got to know who my competitors were only when I entered the Auditorium on the day itself. I was dressed like how I would normally do in a classroom presentation. Then along came a few participants with suits ablazing. Somehow, men in suits are more intimidating than those without. Maybe because wearing a suit screams 'I'm more successful thaan thou?' At that moment though, I was more concerned with the content of my presentation than how I looked in the eyes of the audience.

I initially feared that my topic was too complex not only for the audience but also myelf especially when it came to the Q&A session. Without much thought, I downed a can of Red Bull and proceeded to mesmerize the audience in the only way I knew; fiery speech. Because I was trained as a debater a long time ago, I only knew how to speak loud and confidently when I presented even though everything that came out from my mouth consisted of 90% bullshit and 10% facts. I guess with confidence in their speech, one can make it sound like 90% conviction instead of bullshit. Topics presented by others ranged from simple stuff to more complex ones like capital control and implementing GST.

Results were out on Thursday evening. I did it. Finals here I come. Along with the other 4 people I identified would make it to the finals and one more wildcard, that makes 6 of us for the finals which will be held on the 6th of October. Boo-hoo. Why did it have to be that day? The day where I turn 21? Could the fact that the finals falls on my birthday sway the judges into voluntarily handing me the trophy? This time, we're given the topic instead of choosing our own which makes all of us even. I would love to receive some input on how to address this topic from my dear readers:

The Economic - Financial Crisis in Malaysia (2009): Are we out of the woods and what should we do next?

October oh October, why did I have to be born in October? :(


Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Pretty girls looking for financial leverage?

CEO of J.P Morgan's Fantastic reply to a Pretty Girl

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?



I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here:
I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high:
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden, $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out?
(Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking?
I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)


Ms. Pretty

Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,


I have read your post with great interest.
Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.
Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.
The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money":
Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason.
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset.
It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.
If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.


By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted.
It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.
And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...


J.P. Morgan CEO

Thursday, August 13, 2009

F.E.A.R

Many thanks to those who speculated or prophesied that my next post would appear on December 20th of God knows what year. Been somewhat busy enjoying the pathetic excuse of a semester break that I had for the past few weeks. Results for the previous sem were the best I've had so far (Nick pls refrain from commenting on this :)) I've officially entered my final year of study. To some, the final year of study is a dread as working life means bidding those days of slacking goodbye. I personally cannot wait to earn my 4 figure paycheck. Sad eh? The most I've ever had was 3 figures. Underqualified and underpaid I was...NOT AFTER THIS YEAR I'M NOT :D (I hope)

The subjects I'm taking are mostly finance based this time round and in all previous semesters I've had, this is the one where I actually fear for my studies. Yes, I know studying is a breeze and I agree. The unpleasant part of it is the lecturer's expectations this time round. Not to mention requirements of pin-drop silence in some classes to the doing away of Malaysian 'rubber time' for other classes (no coming in late lah). Even my anticipated 'easiest' subject of Public Relations 2 is proving to be a handful.

That said, when fear takes over, fun takes the back seat. I see less of her this semester. I've been going out very little this time round. I eat unhealthily as more instant food is consumed. I'm gaining weight and a speare tyre because of that. I would have failed to keep my semester goals of having good results and good health if I lived like that. A vicious cycle that contradicts each other. Studying hard gives you bad health. Not studying gives you a sore butt and ears at the end of the semester. The plus side to this? More money to spend on...uhh...toys?

By toys I mean this:


The not so new Sony Ericsson C510. As you all may or may not know, I lost my old phone which was an SE K550i. It was a decent performer although the buttons were rubbish. It had a satisfactory camera which I doubt would satisfy my need for a higher quality image while capturing photos. Hence, we have the poor student's knight in shining armor; the SE C510. Costing a little over 500 bucks, it comes with a 3.2 megapixel camera. The youngest sibling of the latest line of Cybershot phones by SE. Big buttons to text comfortably. Big screen to go easy on a ageing eyes.

It sucks having classes till 5 on a Friday. With this, signing off for now. Cheerio.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Since my last post:

I have found my motivation and inspiration to do this post. Receive AND spent December and January paychecks on my new laptop, the Acer Aspire 4730ZG complete with an ATI Radeon HD3470. :) Also got my bottle of Absolut, Ruby Red from Labuan when my plane transited there. For those not in the know, i went to Sabah for a trip awhile ago.

Loads had happened the months before and am now staying in a different place than I used to. This would be the last time I move until I graduate regardless or not the new campus opens in January 2010. i'll just have to take the shuttle bus then :) Busy and demotivating semester this time round. But rather enjoyable I'd say. Since my last post, I have come to the conclusion (a rather temporary one) that...wait for it....wait for it...

I'm 1/4 Jap and 3/4 Chinese :D

The term byproduct of racial harmony has never been pushed to this sort of boundary. I should be the byproduct of racial confusion instead :p . Here's the summary on how this conclusion came about. I attended a family event (read: dinner) at Pavillion a couple of months back. Dinner was awesome but service was mediocre, blame high class restaurants not being prepared to serve 20-odd customers simultaneously. Anyway, my cousins and I were talking to my first uncle and the topic soon led to our family heritage...and how my dad used to be the favourite son. Well, Uncle said that if we were to do a test, there would not be a single drop of Malay blood in me. (I know...i got the O.O" as well)

Reason being that my grandpa was a Jap baby adopted by the Johor royal household, not as a prince though. He was apprently adopted by the Johor Sultan's grandma and somewhere along the way, racial confusion takes its place and he was declared a Malay sometime later. Well, I guess documentations sucked at that time. Soon after, grandpa met grandma (a Chinese lady from...China lar) and had 7 kids including my dad. Dad married mom and *kaboom* here I am. This is the extremely shortened version of the entire story. The favourite question of "Are you related to Onn Jaa'far" can also be answered in the full version of the story. To sum it up, grandpa and family (excluding us 3rd generation cikus) were at Onn Jaa'far's death bed moments before he departed for his eternal honeymoon. So I guess that says pretty much about how close they were to him.

Somehow, this family heritage story of mine always captivates my listeners...but only for the first time. Nick has gotten bored listening because i always tell the story to other people and he always happens to be with me at that time :p

Anyways, here's to future updates. In the meantime, examinification beckons...

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Awaiting.

Things I await for:

-Inspiration to blog

-Motivation to blog

-December's paycheck

-January's paycheck

-Chinese New Year

-Chinese New Year's angpaus

-New semester

-A bottle of Absolut, any flavors accepted

-New laptop

-When my next post will be

kthxbai